This is what love looks like:
When my husband and I were engaged, we planned our wedding in 3 months. One afternoon we were sorting out the next twenty tasks to complete. He hadn't called the bakery about the cake, and he still hadn't finished the guest list. With annoyance dripping out of every pore, I cut into him with all the shame and blame I could conjure up. How dare he drop the ball and ruin my afternoon. Now I would have to pick up after his incompetence!
After my verbal assault, he sat quietly with disbelief and pain in his eyes. I expected he would scold me for my tirade, but he didn't. Al he said was, "Jonalyn, is that how you talk to yourself?" I was silent, stunned.
Then, slowly, I nodded and began to weep long and hard, realizing that this wasn't the good life, it wasn't the abundant life Jesus offered. But it was the only way I knew to be a model Christian woman planning a model wedding.
It was the first time someone took time to notice the person behind my judgmental words. He saw the state of my soul. He swallowed his own pain long enough to see that there was something self-destructive eating me. To get anything done right, to be holy, to stay pure, to walk the straight and narrow, I condemned myself into obedience...
Dale was the first person who saw my mess and refused to demand an instant cleanup party. He saw where I was. And he still married me, not to rescue me, but to join me in this journey into abundant life. (UnChristian, p. 203-204)
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..."
"Love your neighbor as yourself..."