So I'm in the post office yesterday standing in line (but I repeat myself) and I'm just minding my own business. Actually, that's not true. I was actually minding Loud Talker's business because it was more interesting than mine.
Loud Talker was talking to Random Nice Guy Behind Him about his most personal life business. We join their "conversation" already in progress...
"So I guess that just goes to show you that buying a house and having babies doesn't save marriages. But we still do some things together, you know."
Huh? Is that the CW on fixing a struggling marriage relationship? Loud Talker and LT's wife are having marital warfare so they first try the "let's buy a house together" remedy?
LT: "Oops, the mortgage payment, endless list of undone repair projects and rising property taxes didn't bring us closer together, honey. But don't worry. I've got a new idea to save our marriage: let's have some kids. I'm pretty sure the increase in sleepless nights, the extra budget strain, the increased opportunity for conflict, the feelings of being neglected for the sake of the children, the tightrope of balancing work and family, the worries over our kids future and the extra pressure to "move back home" from both or our families will be like a cozy snuggle by a crackling fire for our love and marital intimacy."
Okay, so I'm being pretty rough on LT who was clearly wounded from the experience to the point that he's talking about it to a complete stranger. But I get a bit stirred up when people are living so far from reality. When we hurt, we do some pretty illogical things to address the problems.
Overhearing this snippet of conversation was a huge reminder of just how desperate the state of many marriages is in our community. I believe it is a #1 issue in the homes surrounding our church building. People who "have it all" yet feel trapped in marriage to a person they stopped loving a long time ago.
But I believe there is big reason to hope. I know--I know--that marriages can be made vibrant and whole through Jesus. Husbands who've lost interest in their wives can be rekindled to a passionate love for them. Wives who've long since stopped respecting and even resent their husbands can experience a sense of security, warmth and respect in his arms, again.
Roommate Syndrome does not have to be the norm for marriage.
Father, help us find avenues of connection with Roommate Syndrome couples to show them the power of Jesus to bring hope and healing into their living rooms, kitchens and bedrooms.
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