Schrute on fathering

I had breakfast with a great brother and friend from the church this morning.  He's a "newish" dad and was seeking some perspective on life as a father.  As I listened to his concerns, I felt that he was speaking for a lot of young dads.

Let me try to surface some of these important issues in the persona of my hero, Dwight Schrute:

FACT: men want to conquer the world. 
FACT:  men believe they can conquer the world. 
FACT:  bears are better than snakes. 
FACT:  trying to conquer the world seems to take more than 8 hours a day. 
FACT:  wives and children seem to be impediments to the pursuit of world domination.

(Thank you, Dwight--you're fathering sensibilities are legendary.)

Now seriously, here's a reality check for us dads:  we're not really conquering the world.  Furthermore,  overlooking our families in the right pursuit of a great cause (and no, "video game champion" does not qualify as a "great cause") will actually cause the world to conquer us and our children. 

A better strategy than all-absorbing, Schrute-informed, world conquest can be found in a few important fathering principles:

1. Making and maintaining boundaries--this means leaving work in its place, being home when you are home and allowing yourself the freedom to not dream, plan or implement work and projects while engaging with your family.  (Even as I type this a wave of conviction rolls over me--this is hard to do!)
2. Pursuing emotional engagement--this means tuning into the things that your family is in love with and passionate about, being in the moment with a child who is showing you something, and playing, teaching and wrestling with your children with passion and presence.  Simple summary--"being in the moment".  (Alright, another wave of conviction is hitting me as I type this one.  Aargh.)
3. Realizing you and your wife fill different roles--this means you don't have to mimic your wife's behavior to be a great father.  She is imparting certain things into your children that you cannot give them.  Alternatively, you give them things she can never give.  However, do pay attention to your wife's relational insight--my wife has often alerted me to relational gaps between me and my  kids and helped me get rid of them by spending time with that child.  She has good relational IQ.

And finally from a kinder, gentler Dwight... FACT:  Its never too late to begin again.