Options

My wife and I were talking late last night at the end of a long day.  Just the chatter of a husband and wife; the kind of moments that help a marriage take in oxygen and breath.  In the midst of our conversation a thought hit me that I just couldn't shake.  I blurted it out immediately and then said it again about 3 times.  (Gil has chosen to live with my strange Kramer-like outbursts, thankfully.)

Options do not make people happy.

There it is.  My profound thought.  (Stop laughing.  I have to work with what I have.)

Gil and I married at 19 and barely 20.  A world of options still lay in front of us.  Conventional American wisdom would say that our options for happiness were all still "out there" and that we hadn't done our due diligence.  And yet, we are tremendously happily married.  We decided we would have a growing marriage no matter what and hang the "options".

Options do not make people happy.

After marriage we moved to Warsaw, Indiana.  We visited a church.  We liked it and we were greeted warmly.  We stayed.  There were probably 20-25 other churches in the area.  I'm guessing we could have been happy at at least 4 or 5 of them.  But we stayed at Pleasantview and made it work.  Didn't spend our time on the options.

Options do not make people happy.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying options are evil.  I'm not saying options make people unhappy.  But what I am saying is that holding on to the belief that exploring options for long enough will lead me to the most happy possible choice is a fallacy. 

You want to find joy in your choices?  Make a decision.  Choose something, someone.  Then, exercise your option to forsake the other options, the "might haves", the "could have beens" and choose to make what you have the best thing going.  Choose joy.  Hmmm.  Sounds like a great name for a preaching series...

Comments

[Nathan]

Oddly enough, I was just reading an article about something very similar yesterday:

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2007/2487_A_ChurchBased_Hope_for_Adultolescents/

Basically, people are becoming so much more prone to "keep their option open", and put off being an adult with actual commitments and responsibilities. The result isn't increased happiness and satisfaction, but a whole lot of children in grown-up suits.

I love the idea of "Choose Joy" as a series. I can definitely envision texts that would get major play (Mat 6, Heb 10:32-12:2, Jer 2:11-13). Sounds like it could be really awesome.

[Eric]

I think you're on to something. The world would have you believe that you're happy once you're in a Pacific Life Commercial watching whales surface. While life can be complicated and throw curve balls, Christians have to get a grip on "options" and "happiness." Maybe then we'll look less like the world and more like Jesus.

[Brian]

Interesting thought. The more options I have, the less I am focusing on and enjoying the choices already made. There are times when options are necessary though. When looking for an apartment one time, I received some good advise from the guy showing us different apartments. He said that we should not have several options on the table as eventually you will confuse the aspects of each option. Instead, take a heavyweight contender approach. The first option becomes the defending champ. The next option is either the new champ or it is not. All new options are compared to the heavyweight champ only, until the decision is made. It has usually worked out that I have an Aha moment when I find the champ I've been looking for.