Addicted?

I'm not sure what to do with this but it feels like something worth sharing.  This morning as I was praying I felt God was placing his finger on an addiction in my life.  I think I'm addicted to "new".  Seriously.

I want the next piece of new mail, the next new email (that one's big), the next new person to connect with, the next new ministry opportunity, the next new church location, the next new cafe to sip coffee in, the next new movie, the next new book.  I feel cheated when something new is happening and I can't be a part of it.  It doesn't have to be actually new either--just new to me.  And sometimes I find that I'm not satisfied unless I can "get new", right now.  Classic addict behavior.  (I can't help but laugh to myself as I think of Steve Martin's old standup routine about "getting small".) 

At my best, I think enjoying new things is part of my wiring in a good way.  When it's in check, God can use my love for (and lack of fear of) what is new to do kingdom work.  And I don't ever want to love what is comfortable and familiar in a way that I turn away from the importance of mission and frontier.  But sometimes it feels like "new" is a raging need in my life in a way that feels like its got me rather than me having it.  That's where I feel like it spills over into sin.

In fact, sometimes it even can be a tool to keep me from staying engaged in what is "old" and important.  I can find myself giving short attention to what must be maintained because its harder for me to stay engaged with what is always there than it is to stay engaged with what is "new". 

I'm convinced that part of spiritual maturity is to cultivate increasing love and passion and attention upon people who are always present in my life while continuing to enjoy and live out on the edge of new things.  To hold onto the wonder of long term relationships and long term ministry responsibilities.  To stay fully engaged.  Maybe I'm not the only one addicted to "new"?