Thursday mornings are good. 6:15am comes and I'm in the Lincoln Park building reception area sipping coffee with 14 or 15 other men who are eager to become better men. We receive a crock-potted message from an experienced pastor (Robert Lewis) pointing us toward the path of authentic authentic manhood and then we break up in smaller groups to discuss and implement. Winning combo.
This morning we were taking a look at the heart wound men are born with that often leads us to:
- avoid or retreat from domestic/family responsibility
- rule harshly over women and children
- get lost in our careers and personal pursuits (detached) and ignore God's greater purpose for our lives
These tendencies were by agreement in our group, easy to fall into for each of us. We also talked about the fact that married men with this problem are given a gift from God: a wife. Wives tend to see these tendencies clearly and to open our eyes to them as we manifest them in our home.
But there's a problem--we men are a fragile group. We often find silly reasons for dismissing the truth our wives are speaking which could be there to coach us out of our detachment, harshness or neglect and put us back on track.
The determining factor between being coached or being angered is simply a question of our operational mode. If we are working from Operational Humility, we hear and respond. If we are functioning with Operational Defensiveness we will argue, snipe, yell, retreat, leave, quit, whine or brood.
Humility is only a virtue when it is presently in operation. Operational humility. Defensiveness may be a tendency but it is only a problem when it is in operation. Operational defensiveness.
God, grant us operational humility--like Jesus.
this morning I read the story of Nabal, Abigail, and David - an excellent example supporting some of your comments - I Samuel 25
Posted by: Greg Zorovich | December 05, 2008 at 07:41 AM
Great example, Greg. Nabal (which means foolish or senseless) is an example of a man who can't hear a godly wife.
Posted by: Kevin | December 05, 2008 at 08:21 AM
Good thing I checked this--I should be asking Eric what he talks about in his early morning escapades with you all. :)
Posted by: Emily Runyan | December 05, 2008 at 02:04 PM
Hah! For the record, Eric wasn't in my discussion group. And I'm sure he always takes your advice anyway, right?;-)
Posted by: Kevin | December 05, 2008 at 03:24 PM