I regularly talk with husbands and wives who's spouses do not share their faith in Jesus. It is a difficult circumstance. It is also a circumstance that I believe God uses to great impact for both parties. I've had 3 recent conversations with believing spouses in this circumstance. I thought I'd share my counsel to one of the wives hoping it will help others in the same place.
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Thanks for emailing and sharing your heart. You and I both know there are no easy answers in dealing with an unbelieving spouse. But the Scripture does give solid direction for dealing with an unbelieving spouse.
1 Peter 3:1-2 expresses that "less is often more". In other words your character and walk with God lived out in proximity to your husband is of greater value than anything in winning his heart. The challenge is being able to exercise "holy restraint". Resisting the urge to preach, guide and nudge him into faith. He won't be won that way even though it feels like you should be "doing something". This makes restraint hard but don't quit exercising holy restraint.
1 Cor 7:12-16 expresses the idea that invisibly, by being married to you, your husband is in a better position to hear and receive the gospel. "The unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife..." Holy, in this context, is not about being made right with God in an ultimate sense. Instead its about your spouse being uniquely set apart to receive from God in a way that surpasses a home where both spouses are ubelieving. You can already see this at work in your life because your husband is attending church rather frequently with you and hearing the Gospel. When there are two unbelieving spouses that rarely happens.
Here's the thing--seeds, by their nature, are only effective when invisible. Your husband is receiving Gospel seeds in the soil of his heart from your life, from hearing the Gospel in church and probably from a few other places you aren't aware of. He keeps them hidden and that's okay. They are doing something. Like a good farmer, you must wait, trust and remember the power of sun, water and seeds to bring about plants and fruit in their own season.
You are not alone. I met with a couple earlier this week in a similar situation. But I see movement toward God in the husband's life. A few weeks ago I was speaking with a husband in the same boat. And it is a frequent thing that I encounter married couples with one believer and one not yet a believer.
My counsel to you is keep trusting God. Keep walking with hope for your husbands salvation. Focus on being a faithful and godly woman above all else. Live out your faith shamelessly so that he can see it. Accept him as he is and love him trusting that God is doing much work that you cannot see.
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