caffeine, please.

If you need a laugh

This link comes courtesy of British TV by way of Tim Stevens.  Prepare to belly laugh...

Maybe my car's not a chick car after all?

So a big thank you to Rog and Jeanne for their "research" into this issue.  It is a well-publicized (by me) fact that I drive an aging chick mobile--a 1996 red VW Golf... or is it?  Turns out I don't drive a chick-mobile--I drive a you've-got-no-life-mobile.  Way different.  And way better.  Take a look for yourself:

News of the absurd

I came across a couple stories this morning that made me laugh.  Allow me to share them with you.

From the "Christmas Story" file:
Hammond boy licks light pole, gets stuck

From the "Teenagers Already Knew This" file (thanks, Greg):
Convict prefers prison to parents

Plan to guffaw...

...when you read this list of hilarious Bushisms from the last 8 years.  An homage to a President who knew how to mix his metaphors and misspeak with the best of 'em.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090103/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bushisms;_ylt=AuIqp40._KvAzcgYJ.l8ZNIDW7oF

"You seem like a decent fellow..."

This clip is from the greatest movie ever.  I post it... because.

Justifiable (and hilarious) satire of something calling itself Christian

Back in the saddle

Between vacation time, vacation catch up time and a desire to be a little less wired this summer, I've been obviously quiet in the last 14 days.  But as Gene Autry sings, I'm back in the saddle again.  (Actually, he sings, "I'll be back in the saddle again" so I probably shouldn't say, "as Gene Autry sings" since I'm messing with the tense of his verbs.  What a dilemma.)

To make up for it, here's Gene Autry, back in the saddle.  Yippee Kai Yai Oh.  Enjoy.

This guy will pitch in a world series within the next decade

Bob Costas' voice can be heard in the voice over setting the scene for the Angels-Mets World Series, 2015.  Taking the hill for game 3 on this auspicious night of baseball?  None other than John Odom, the man who was traded during his minor league career in May of 2008 for (drum roll, please)... 10 maple bats.

And do you think that because of this trade he's hurt?  Offended?  Angry?  Bitter?  No.  He's laughing.  He's owning it fully.  He's planning to make this the low point of his career--"it can only go up from here," he says with a chuckle.  This is a story I love.  Let's go to ESPN for a report and interview...

Caffeine stats

I love stats and I love coffee.  So you can bet that the merging of those two made me very happy.  Here are some fascinating Friday stats on coffee:

• Total retail sales of coffee in the U.S. in 1990--$30 billion; in 2008--$80 billion. 
• Coffee is the second-most-traded commodity on the global market.  First is oil. 
• 23,000 cups of coffee are downed around the world every second (that's more than 710 billion cups a year.)
• A decadelong European study found that men who drink 3 or more cups a day suffer less mental decline in old age than nondrinkers.
• Finnish scientists found that locals who drink 10 or more cups a day were 84% less likely to develop Parkinson's disease than java-phobes.
• Baristas from Copenhagen have won the World Barista Championships four times in the past eight years.

10 Signs You May Have Relational Issues

So on Sunday, I want to use some humor to step into teaching on relationships, connecting and isolation.  I've worked up a proverbial Top 10 list and I'm asking you, the caffeine, please team, to add your own items or nix any of mine that land with a thud. 

I will use knee-slapper contributions on Sunday (with credit given of course.)

10 Signs You May Have Relational Issues:

#10    Your cat/dog is the only one who really "gets you". 
#9    "I already have plans with Friends tonight," means you'll be hanging out later on with Ross, Rach, Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Chandler.
#8    You don't think your halitosis is "that big a deal".
#7    You feel Twitter is too intimate and should be used only by married couples.
#6    You thought the book Bowling Alone was a celebration of your favorite pastime.
#5    You're emotionally exhausted and needing alone time after replying to a text message.
#4    Your Fave Five includes Fandango, the Chinese Takeout joint around the corner and that number that tells you what the exact time is... <beep>
#3    You run to the bank to check your balance at the teller every day so you can get in some quality "hangout time"
#2    The Budweiser "Dude" commercial guy has given you some valuable relational and communication tools.
#1    The last time someone knocked on your door you hid and called the police.  (Your neighbor will never ask to borrow sugar from you again.)

Don't be shy--share your humorous thoughts with the rest of the class.

Honey, I shrunk the gardener!

What's your caption for this freaky news story photo?

The bond of bowling

Beginning this year our Lakeview and Lincoln Park leadership and staff teams and their families started having monthly gatherings.  We call this group the CORE team.  We decided to begin meeting this way to create deeper relationships among our staff and leaders.  Each time we gather, our host determines the agenda but mostly its eating, praying, worshiping, talking and hanging out.  Deeper connections--that's what we're pursuing with these gatherings. 

One of my favorite aspects--my kids look forward to these nights.  My prayer is that my children grow up feeling it was a privilege to have a dad who is also a pastor--too many pastor's kids grow up bitter toward the church.

For last night's gathering Mike and Rachel H. were our hosts.  We had pizza and then headed over to Waveland Bowl for a friendly game of (you're not going to believe this) bowling.  (Sidenote:  I had pretty much had enough of the music videos playing on screens down by the pins during our bowling well before Toto's "Africa" graced us with its 80's passion and big hair.) 

Thankfully, the bowling was just a friendly game so it doesn't matter that my team was the winner.  Seriously.  By a lot; I mean big margins.  My team doesn't gloat.  "If you have to crush the opponent, crush them with dignity" was our motto and I feel like we did that.  At least the crushing part.  We have no need to brag about our massive score in light of their puny score.

Jose, Maria, Esteban, Shanda, Gillian, and whoever the other person was on your team (Elisa?), don't hang your heads.  You were just beaten by a superior opponent.  The important thing is that we all feel closer and more connected now.  (One more sidenote:  I discovered another member of our team who suffers from Bowling Butt--we don not have to suffer alone!)

Funny break

I needed a mental break and this was just the ticket for a big laugh at the expense of white people.  Very funny blog.  Good humor has a base of truth that makes you say to yourself, "he noticed that too!  I can't believe it!" 

Thanks to Jelani Greenidge for the tip...

Yes!!

I love this weather--10 inches of snow and still falling!  I think it is the sense of adventure that comes from a huge snowfall.  Just venturing out of the house seems to open up new possibilities in previously all-to-familiar places. 

Tardy for school today?  Under "reason for tardiness" write, "winter wonderland, baby!"  Late for work:  "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"  2.5 hour commute to your home in the suburbs?  Move to the city.  It snows here too but the drive is shorter.

Viva la snow!